This post is inspired by an article I read today also titled A Letter to Ego.
Here are a few thoughts that have been circling my mind over and over in recent weeks and honestly I’m tired of them and I’m tired of your grasp on me and my perception of the world.
You’re Not Always Right
I know you like to think that you are always right, but really, you’re not. There are no right or wrong answers, opinions, or thoughts; there are just answers, opinions, and thoughts.
How can anything I say be right or wrong when the definitions of right and wrong are chosen by you and other egos?
I know that you have me believing everything I say is either right or wrong because you have the fear. It’s all an illusion and you’re not real anyway so why should I listen to you?
This has distracted me from who I really am and what I really love: writing and helping others. Being a carer involves helping others, but this constant need for you to always be right is extremely tiring (and you’re causing me insomnia).
This means I can’t do my job properly because I’m too busy being focused on how to do it right rather than just actually doing my job and being a positive influence on someone’s life.
You Can’t Change Anyone to Suit You
This leads on from the above statement. What is with you always needing me to try and change Maria*? So it seems as though she doesn’t know how to think for herself? So she doesn’t have as high an emotional intelligence as you would like? Instead of focusing on how to change her to suit you, why don’t you let me accept her as she is?
When she’s ready she’ll learn all this for herself. I know her time hasn’t come yet and perhaps I’m not meant to teach her anything – maybe she’s meant to be my teacher. Have you thought of that one? Just because someone’s way of life or point of view isn’t agreeable to yours doesn’t mean I should try and change them to suit you.
We’re all one consciousness anyway so her thoughts are mine and mine are hers; we’re just unaware of it, and some are unable to grasp such a radical concept. Inside, I know I’m accepting of people and in the nicest way, I don’t really care what people think.
I think it’s amazing that we all have varied opinions and thoughts, and I find it very interesting to listen to other people’s ideas because it allows me to see a part of their soul and who they are.
Neither of Us Are Victims
I’m not a victim, but you’re quite happy to indulge my thought pattern – which quite often is negative – about my current circumstances. Yes, I don’t like my job, but you’re keeping me focused on the flaws and negativity instead of allowing me to move past those obstacles and onto happiness.
The world doesn’t owe me anything and quite honestly I don’t expect anything in return. I find even receiving a ‘thank you’ really awkward because I actually don’t want one, but you are always in the background making me feel as though I should get one.
I don’t need to expect anything in return from the universe from doing a job which others deem ‘hard’ because I’m giving some of myself and my time to another person and being of service.
Although you make me feel as though I’m making little to no progress, my Higher Self knows that small ripples of positivity are surfacing. I don’t appreciate you indulging a “woe-am-I” mind state and thus making my job seem that little bit harder.
I don’t want to fight a battle with myself or other people so you can stop making me believe I’m a victim.
Let Me Forgive Myself!
Please, for the love of God, let me forgive myself!
Stop making me feel guilty for everything I do, think or say!
If I have a ‘bad’ thought you’re there wagging your finger in disappointment and tutting away like an old maid. If I have a ‘good’ thought there you are patting me on the back saying “Well done old chap!” I don’t need or want your guilt or your pride so you can stop giving it to me.
I want to forgive myself so I can move forward and live in a positive golden bubble of happiness (and you can stop ridiculing me for wanting to live that way. I create my life and that’s what I want to create.) Through forgiving myself I’m in a better position to be able to help and guide people on how to improve their lives.
“Be the feeling you want to achieve” ~ Wayne Dyer
Knowledge is an Illusion
I don’t know everything.
Of course I don’t!
And to even have me believing I do is incredibly ignorant. And boring. If I knew everything imagine how closed-minded I’d be? In fact, thanks to you, I have been closed-minded! I don’t know everything and I’m very happy saying “I don’t know” because it’s the truth. You have lead me down your make believe yellow-brick road taunting me with ‘knowledge’ and leading me away from the ultimate truth of who I am. It’s gone on too long now. I’m straying from your path!
In the past I have been blindly following your ‘knowledge’ which means I missed many chances to smell the roses, float amongst the stars, and indulge my imagination. By becoming aware of this I can now utilise the energy around me for furthering my self-knowledge (or at least my perception of it). I’m no longer allowing you to interfere with me and having me believe that what I know is true. If anything, since listening to my Higher-Self and going on my inner journey, I’ve discovered that nothing I know is true. Not in the slightest.
So essentially I know nothing.
And what is knowledge anyway but merely a guessing game disguised as pretty, meaningful, awe-inspiring words?
Others’ Perceptions and Opinions About Me Really Don’t Matter
No-one really cares how I look, and I don’t really care how anyone else looks so why are you making an issue out of it?
For too long you’ve been fed by society’s conditioning of how I’m supposed to act, look, or live and I’m not having it anymore.
No-one’s ‘perfect’ because perfection doesn’t exist. The very idea of it is an illusion, but one that is constantly indulged by you and the media. I’m never going to match up to your ridiculous standards so why would I waste my time and energy on trying to do so?
And yet, your cheery buddy Vanity just keeps popping up with these silly thoughts: “Oh look…you have another spot. Well, no-one’s going to find you attractive today.” or “Damn. Your hair is a MESS. How on earth will you cope?” and “Eww. Your outfit isn’t ‘in fashion’. Expect to be ridiculed today.”
I don’t like these thoughts Mr Ego! They’re detrimental not only to me, but the rest of the world. All thought is energy and if I’m giving off that kinda vibe then it’s going to reflect back onto my perception, and affect everyone else. And I’m not about bad vibes. I love good vibes. I’m love. Don’t mess with that!
No-one is concerned with how everyone else looks. They’re caught up in their own state of societal, ego-driven perfection. This is sad and unnecessary because really, it doesn’t matter.
It’s exciting that everyone has their own unique ideas, styles, opinions etc because life becomes a little more interesting and we can learn from each other. I know (or at least I guess…!) that at the heart of it everyone is accepting, but you, Mr Ego, have distorted our perception of ourselves. We’re now focused on external matters rather than internal ones, and I can’t speak for everyone, but personally, this is making me unhappy.
I want lasting, eternal blissfulness. In fact, I already am lasting, eternal blissfulness, but I can’t remember how it feels yet.
If no-one accepts me that’s fine because I accept me. Once I accept myself, my foundation is solid and I gain a little more inner peace. You’re making me believe that I must be accepted by others to have any kind of value or self-worth and that’s just not true. Everyone is valuable and worth a lot, but you drive them into the ground with harmful, hurtful ideas. Luckily we have our Higher-Selves who know the truth. Thank God.
I’ve got better things to do than worry about what other people are thinking. Who’s doing the thinking anyway? And who’s observing those thoughts?
Seriously. Stop. It’s holding me back.
I can feel my Higher-Self patiently waiting for me to confront my fears, but you keep making me aware of the fear in EVERYTHING. How am I meant to live if you’re behind the scenes orchestrating an illusory horror film? That’s right Mr Ego, I know it’s an illusion! But then, you know I know about this illusion so then you play on that fear!
“You mustn’t speak up or you might be wrong and look foolish”.
“No don’t apply for that job. You’ll get rejected.”
“Don’t quit your job. You’ll end up failing at whatever you do and losing everything.”
Really Ego? Really?
Oh my life! What a palaver. (That’s another thing: stop causing drama – I don’t want it nor is it beneficial to me or the other person.)
When will it end?!
It ends now simply because I say so. I’m my own jailor which means I have the keys to unlock the chains you’ve bound me in. You don’t define me, nor are you me. You’re a human aspect that I have to learn to work in balance with.
Even if you are like an annoying infestation that never seems to leave.
Your presence has meant that I’ve been able to learn a lot about who I’m not, but most importantly who I am.
You’ve made me aware of the person I don’t want to be, which leaves me plenty of space to become the person I do want to be.
“To know who we really are, we must first create the experience of who we are not” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
I know you will always be a part of my life, but know that I’m working towards attaining balance and so you will not be top-dog any longer.
* * * * * * * * * *
I found this letter very cathartic to write and I hope should you choose to write one that you also get the same positive outcome.
“Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde.
Be happy. Be you.