Selfies: Narcissism or a Cry for Help?

Every week 17 million selfies are uploaded (Daily Mail)

17 MILLION!!!! That’s crazy!

How many times does someone really need to see your face at slightly different angles?

I’m not a complete selfie-hater…well, sort of.

I hate people who take selfies of their face. Every. Single. Day. The only thing that’s changed is the colour of their eye-shadow and their clothes. We get it – yes, you are looking fab today, but you did yesterday, and the day before. And the day before that. And the day before that…

Please tell me there is more happening in our lives than the relentless obsession with selfies?

THERE’S A WORLD OUT THERE!

YOU HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE!

Please, LIVE it!

What is a selfie but a child-like need for approval?

…”Mummy, mummy! Tell me I’m pretty!”

The selfie culture acts a distraction; a proverbial burying of our heads in the sand to what is really going on in the world. A means to distract from what really matters.

How you look doesn’t matter. How you act matters. How you feel matters.

Do you think a blind person cares about how you look? If you were blind would you care how you looked?

Do you think hungry, homeless children care about how amazing you look today?

Now, I’m not saying I’ve never taken selfie. I’ve taken many in the past. This was because even though I felt I looked good, I still wanted the approval of my Facebook crew to reaffirm this for me.

But now, I’m getting sick of it. IF I take a selfie now I make it funny – I’d rather people got a laugh, or even cracked a smile at my face than see another boring “this-is-my-face-all-day-everyday” picture.

Also, in these selfies of mine I look bloody awful. But honestly, I don’t really care. And it’s a refreshing feeling. People need to know that it’s perfectly okay to look ‘ugly’ sometimes (what does ‘ugliness’ constitute anyway?) Ugliness doesn’t exist. It’s a value created from societal conditioning, a marketing ploy to get us to buy products that we don’t need but they do apparently make us more ‘beautiful’ (don’t worry though. They still love our natural beauty, but with a few added extras…please!)

I digress.

Yes. It’s okay to be ‘ugly’.

People are so busy taking selfies that they forget there’s a world around them. They forget to live in the moment. They forget to fully experience the moment. If something amazing happens the first step is to take a picture/video. When did it become a reflex to take a picture of something amazing rather than marvelling in the event?

Wouldn’t you rather remember how amazing that experience felt? Or would you rather remember how awkward it was to try and get a good picture of it then getting frustrated because the picture didn’t come out as planned?

Once the moment has gone you can’t get it back.

Why would selfies be a cry for help?

Well, why wouldn’t it?

Both males and females are under extreme pressure to look good. They might look good, but do they feel good? Do they know their true worth? Is taking a selfie another way of saying “Please help me. I don’t know how to be me so I’m just being the me society tells me I should be.”?

I’m not sure if people realise that the amount of ‘likes’ on a picture isn’t going to help them when they have a crisis of confidence.

We’re not taught how to love ourselves. We’re taught how we should be for other people to love us.

We all want to be loved, but how can one love another when they don’t even know how to love themselves? People don’t even believe they deserve to be loved! What kind of world have we created where people think of themselves in terms of worth and value, but base this worth and value on how much other people perceive them to be worth and valued?

If we all believed we didn’t deserve love and to be loved, then relationships will fail. Whether it be through jealousy, self-hate, anxiety, obsessiveness, being clingy, fear or anger, we would unconsciously destroy any potential successful, loving relationships because we were never taught the importance of loving ourselves. I say we would…we already are.

We need to learn to love ourselves or be forever doomed to never-ending picturesque questions of “Does this lighting hide my spots?”, “Does this angle hide my stomach fat?” or “Does this picture agree with your standards of beauty?”

Set your own standards. Don’t sell yourself short for a ‘like’. Rate yourself, and rate yourself highly. Love yourself.

A picture says a thousand words because we’ve forgotten how to speak.

Be happy. Be you.

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