So, I’ve had one of those days where I found myself getting annoyed at little things. Things that don’t even matter and shouldn’t even be placed on the annoyance pedestal. I call these days my “moaning like a petty bitch days”. Every day used to be one of these, but recently they make a rare appearance. So understandably it’s always a pleasure when they appear.
But, alas, one must put up with it.
I’ve had so many of these days I’ve come up with an avoidance – or at least negotiation – strategy for when they do rear their ugly, and yet educational heads.
I decided to write a post like this because since I actively made the decision to be a better version of myself, love myself and work towards enlightenment, I’ve felt guilty about having these days. The truth is I don’t have to feel guilty. Neither do you. We are allowed to have days where the epic proportion of frustrations that inhabit our lives take over. We can have that pity party and that monstrous, rapid, repetitious rant that never seems to end. It’s ok! I have found that the key with tackling one of these days is with the five steps below. They can also act as a preventative measure. I have discovered that the more I do them the less I suffer with these days and the feelings that arise because of them.
I choose to see these days as lessons. It’s the universes’ way of letting me know which parts of myself still need some work. Self-realisation is a bitch (probably because I can be a bitch on these days).
For example, the girl I care for has been very sheltered and molly-coddled all her life and has no idea how the real world works (she had no idea how to cross a road before she started university – cue a number of incidences of her almost getting run over by buses and cars because she didn’t heed my warning to always be vigilant and double check before she crosses.) Anyway, this type of attitude can be extremely frustrating for me because I’m very independent and seeing someone who seems to lack the lustre for independence grinds my gears. I see this as a lesson in having some perspective, compassion, patience and understanding. After all, I’d rather not spend my life being dependent on another person, and perhaps where Maria* hasn’t really had the chance to be independent she may find it daunting. There are other factors involved (there always is), but that’s too long to go into. And it’s not the point of this post.
So! Back on topic!
I was having one of those days where, basically, Maria* was annoying me. I knew it wasn’t her, it was me and my apparent issues. Still, it was quite hard to remain positive. Hence, this little list of helpful hints.
These are handy little reminders to love ourselves and to be calm and to be bloody brilliant. They’re positive, healing reinforcements that make us feel good about ourselves. What makes a good affirmation? In my experience and my reading, I’ve found that you must always (obviously) be positive, but also speak as if you have already achieved your goal. Say for example someone jumped the queue (and if you’re British you’ll usually be super annoyed and perhaps even offended at this persons audacity) an affirmation such as “I am calm”, or “I am patient” will redirect that annoyance and have you focusing on building a more patient, accepting attitude.
If you ever have what I call an “ugly/fat/bad hair/bad everything day” (I seem to suffer from these more than I like! It’s all work in progress!) then the affirmations “I love and accept myself”, “I am love” and “I am confident and beautiful” work a treat. Anytime you feel the insecurity creeping up say those affirmations and you’ll feel much better about yourself!
Another trick that works – and is slightly awkward, but also highly entertaining – is standing in front of the mirror, looking into your eyes and saying “I love you”. Sounds absurd right? But it works!
Please feel free to use your own affirmations, but word them in a way that tells yourself that you are already successful/beautiful/awesome/loving/patient/compassionate because you are! You just need to sift through the crap of life to find the jewel of your soul.
I recommend watching this video by Louise Hay (don’t worry – it is in English even though the title is in another language). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOA_tBJTx5g&index=72&list=WL
If you like it then there are more videos available, and of course she has many books for you to read.
My friend Conor came over the other day and he told me about a new form of meditation he’d heard about: laughter. It sounds crazy. It is. But it’s brilliant! Every morning for 10-20 minutes just laugh. Fake laugh if you can’t muster up enough comedy material to really laugh. Our brains can’t tell the difference between fake or real laughter so this is why it’s really effective in releasing endorphins. Immediately you feel better, your brain has released some healthy happy hormones, and you get a mini ab workout. WINNER!
Conor and I actually tried it. Within 5 seconds we were genuinely laughing. And you really do feel so much better afterwards.
Here is a video if you’re interested and want to try out this method of meditation!
I know, I know. Meditation comes up ALL THE TIME! But that’s because IT WORKS! (If you’re tired it’s also a chance to have what I call “conscious sleep”, but be careful not to actually fall asleep!) And you feel super after!
I’m aware we all have busy schedules in this hectic modern world, but even just 5 minutes of meditation can really boost your mood. Meditation helps your brain and your body to calm down and relax by lowering your blood pressure. Meditation is about focusing on your breath to allow your mind to calm down and for your brain to take a well-deserved break. Even after 5 minutes you’ll notice a positive difference in how you feel physically and emotionally and you can look at the situation from a new perspective. Often I realise my issues are disastrously petty and gaining some much needed perspective really does help.
Here’s a website if you want to know more about how to meditate.
4: Take a walk, be active!
Get back to nature! Go for a walk in the park, go for a bike ride down a massive hill (legs spread out of course!), or even dance naked in your garden! It’s all about getting some fresh air and getting your blood pumping, and again, releasing those super happy endorphins! There are other activities available – I sometimes do weird, crazy dances in my room, or I go to the gym. Even walking to the shop to get a coffee counts! Besides, you may end up bumping into a friend and that little walk turns into excellent plans. There’s opportunity in the smallest of moments!
5: Keep good company
This is very important for me. I like to be around smiley, happy people. People who make me laugh. I recently read an article (I can’t remember where otherwise I’d have given you the link) that says that you become like the 5 people you spend the most time with. So make sure you choose those 5 people wisely. Remember: it’s for your own good. You deserve the best, so keep the best in your life. No-one wants a negative-Nancy or a moaning-Myrtle as a friend.
So if you’re having one of those “moaning like a petty bitch days” go see a friend and perhaps try out that laughter meditation together! Then maybe do a little weird, crazy dance, and afterwards refresh yourselves by going for a stroll up to the coffee shop and chatting up the nice man behind the counter 😉
Remember: you create your world so if you’re positive the world will bring positivity to you.
Be happy. Be you.